Author Archives: María Tomás-Keegan

Are you stuck in your story?

Stuck In Your Story? What Does It Cost You?

One of my stories was, “I’m divorced twice.  I’m a failure at relationships.  I can’t trust myself to make good decisions.  If I’m a failure in life, I can’t possibly be successful in my career.”  And on and on, like an endless loop of irrational negative thoughts that beat me up daily. It cost me…

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New Start after Divorce

3 Ideas to Help when You’re Ready for a New Start after Divorce

For the first time in a long time I was feeling more hopeful and less afraid of what was waiting for me as I emerged from my divorce hibernation. I was thinking of new possibilities, and feeling more comfortable with the thought of making choices for myself—without having to consider what someone else thought I…

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Moving out of your comfort zone

3 Steps Toward a New Comfort Zone after Divorce

I awoke this grey winter morning feeling as dreary as the weather outside. I had a meeting with my staff to prepare for a critical client presentation—our relationship depended on it. With the meeting about to start, I couldn’t get my head in the game. My emotions were raw and on the surface. I was…

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Self-care is essential to heal from divorce or any major life change

My Divorce Is Not My Failure

Finally. It’s quiet. Bright orange leaves are blowing off the trees as I look out the large windows of my living room. There’s a chill in the air. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s November or because he just moved out. No matter the reason, I needed to warm my space. After lighting the…

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Divorce - not one, but two

What I Learned From Divorce

Not just one divorce, but two.  I’d like to share an essay I wrote that was recently published in I was the first in my family to be divorced. It took me six months to muster the courage to tell them the marriage was over. I’ll never forget what my father asked me once…

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Never too old to dream a new dream

Never too Old to Dream a New Dream

Big things happen in life — your company “divorces” you, a loved one passes on, a cheating husband caught — big things. Your world as you know it blows up and you lose all sense of well-being. You’re thrown off balance. You get hit by a curve-ball. Your old dream is shattered. Is it time…

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Do You Love Yourself Enough?

With Mother’s Day behind us, I’m reminded of the many roles women play. Many of us are mothers to their own born or adopted children. Others of us have nieces and nephews or godchildren in our lives with whom we are so close that they are like our own children. And then there are those…

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Are Choices Hard for You?

Do you feel trapped by indecision? Do you feel like you have no options? Many women who are facing a major life transition, like divorce, get stuck in the rut of thinking there are no choices to be made … it is what it is and it’s never going to get better. It’s never going…

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choose to prepare for lonely

Are You Afraid of Feeling Lonely?

What does feeling lonely mean to you? Are you friendless? Do you have no one to turn to? Have you been abandoned? Are you unloved or unwanted? These seem a bit dramatic, don’t they? It’s how the dictionary defines loneliness. Many women going through divorce do feel lonely and they feel some or all of…

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Divorce can hit like a storm

When Divorce Hits Hard, What Do You Do?

It was one of those days when I woke up in a deep funk. I remember it so well. Is this what they mean by “life happens?” My divorce hit me hard, twice. Everyone thought I had the perfect marriage, but it wasn’t perfect at all. I denied it for years. I told friends and…

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