One of my stories was, “I’m divorced twice.  I’m a failure at relationships.  I can’t trust myself to make good decisions.  If I’m a failure in life, I can’t possibly be successful in my career.”  And on and on, like an endless loop of irrational negative thoughts that beat me up daily.

It cost me a lot to be stuck in this story.  I felt sorry for myself.  My confidence had cracks in it too wide to leap over.  Decisions at work became hard—my usual quick assessments, attention to detail and decisive actions were nowhere to be found.  I was risking a client contract.  My management team, while patient at first, had a business to protect.

With great kindness, my manager came into my office, closed the door and asked me to sit with her for a few minutes.  We moved to the couch for a very personal conversation.  We talked about many things—the business I managed, how my staff was feeling, the attitude of my clients towards me, my future.  It was hard to hear.  She said something to me that hit home and it has stuck with me ever since—helping me still when I get stuck in my story, whatever it is.

“Look what it’s costing you to stay stuck in your story.  Is that where you want to stay?”

I left work early that day, went home to my quiet sanctuary and pondered her question.  The answer was so clear to me.  “Of course that’s NOT where I want to stay! The cost is too great to me—and it is costing people I care about, too.”  The next question, though, was a tough one to answer.  “How do I move past my story?”

I asked this same question of the women in my private Facebook community called, THRIVE after Divorce: Your Journey Begins and some of their thoughts and advice is intertwined with mine in these …

5 Steps to Get Unstuck from Your Story

Click here to read the original article as published on The Empower UP and learn the 5 steps you can take to detach from your story.