Finally. It’s quiet. Bright orange leaves are blowing off the trees as I look out the large windows of my living room. There’s a chill in the air. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s November or because he just moved out.
No matter the reason, I needed to warm my space. After lighting the logs in the fireplace, I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my knees, resting my chin, pulling the afghan over me. I closed my eyes and let warm tears roll down my cheeks. I’m feeling relief—and sad at the same time. It’s like I can breathe freely for the first time in a long time—and I’m scared, too. I’m safe at last. And I’m alone.
As the two cats snuggle closely, they seem to sense that things have changed. The tension in the air is gone. The silence feels peaceful rather than strained with unsaid, hurtful words. There is emptiness, yet we’re relaxed in it—for now.
Once the tears subside, I start pondering what it’s going to be like this time around. What did I learn from my previous divorce that I can use this time to make my recovery easier?
The first thought that occurred was: Divorce is not my failure—it does not define me.
So, how could I start defining the new me? By taking care of myself, for a change.
I learned that self-care is not self-ish. In fact, it is essential that I am at my best so I can give my best to those I care about. No one can take better care of me than I can. It’s my new commitment to me.
This essay was first published in BetterAfter50.com. For the rest of the story and to read five of the tips and techniques I used to start taking care of me, follow this link to the original article. Divorce Is Not My Failure
Remember to take care of yourself first. From my caring heart to yours …
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