Confusion about the future runs rampant during a pandemic—I guess we should expect that. But what happens when the chaos continues for longer than anyone imagined? You might be wondering how to change your life while the world is upside down, and you don’t have a clue what your next step should be.

I believe there are actions we can take to reduce the uncertainty and clear the fog away. First, you need to understand what is causing the internal turmoil and how it can help you.

What if your mind and heart feel confused because they are working things out from the inside? Could it be that you need to give them time? Suppose for a moment that this is not a bad thing. Let’s say it’s okay not to know how to change your life—for now.

It might start with getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Confusion can do that—make you extremely uneasy—so much so that you can’t see what is directly in front of you. Begin by accepting where you are at the moment.

Because exploring new possibilities takes energy and creates options, and that can be overwhelming.  That discovery process also requires you to be open and allow novel ideas to bubble up. For that to happen, you will need to take a pause and make some choices.

“A confused state of mind is created when you have choices.” ~Anthony Alex


How to Change Your Life By Choice

One way to clear a foggy mind is to focus on those things which you can control. What you reap will be clarity, purpose, and motivation. The following are steps you can take to burn off the fog and learn how to change your life—by choice.

Accept that you won’t have all the answers. No one ever does. What makes you think you should? And another thing—no one is perfect. Stop trying. Just be okay with being human. Take Winona Ryder’s sage advice:

“When you finally accept that it’s okay not to have answers, and it’s okay not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of being human.”

Let the chips fall where they may. Since so much in life is beyond our control, it might be time to go with the flow. Focus on your response to events, your interaction within relationships, and keeping positive thoughts. Let everything else take care of itself. Tough to do—but worth the effort when you’re figuring out how to change your life for the better.

Stop dwelling on worst-case scenarios. When life isn’t going the way you planned, it’s easy to imagine, indeed expect, the worst. You’ve likely heard this adage: What you think about you bring about. Stop the thoughts that drag you into a dark pit of despair, and replace them by thinking of more positive outcomes. It’s just as likely the best can happen. Think about that instead.

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” ~Seneca

Stay present. Concentrating on what got you here will keep you stuck in the past. Likewise, worrying about the future is like praying for what you don’t want. Be in the here-and-now so you can make choices from that place.


Get A Move On

Focus on what you know for sure. As you sit in the present, think about all that is true about your situation. Evaluate your skills. Ground yourself in your core values. Tap into all the resources you have at your disposal and gather your support group. Clearing confusion and learning how to change your life can take a village. It’s easier when you don’t try to do it alone.

Explore options. Let the fun begin as you make plans and sort through choices. Set small goals and try out different alternatives. Take deliberate and thoughtful steps toward achieving your objectives. Forward motion creates momentum, leading to successful outcomes.

Find the silver linings. When things get tough, the tough get going. And it helps to keep moving when you notice the good in the bad and the happy in the sad. If you look hard enough, there are blessings everywhere. Let them light your way.

“I’m grateful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn’t have found my strength.”

~Alexandra Elle


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Look for the doors and open them. Closed doors are not there to keep you out, but to make you curious about what might be behind them. Crack the door open and take a peek—you might be surprised about the opportunity that awaits you.

Enjoy the process of discovery. Finally, take a deep breath, and enjoy the journey as you learn how to change your life. Even when days seem dark and dreary, you can make deliberate choices to stay present, allow your emotions to release, and focus on what you can do to explore new possibilities. When you look back to see how far you’ve come, you will find yourself in a very different place.


Take the First Step

If you are facing adversity and living with uncertainty about how to move beyond it, you may wonder if it’s even possible.  Making choices that move you forward can be hard, and getting some guidance may be just what you need.  Start by exploring how change can impact you? And learn how to move through it with more dignity and grace by reading my free ebook.  Click here to take the first step: From Darkness to Light: Learning to Adapt to Change and Move Through Transition.