I am inspired today to write about change because of something I read that resonated with me. It is a quote from John T. Child. I am not familiar with any other work by this guy but, I absolutely loved what he said in this quote that I came across on Facebook. There is much truth in this:
“There is a huge difference between wanting to change
and being willing to change.
Almost everyone wants to change for the better.
Very few are willing to take the steps necessary to create that change.”
What do you think about the position John takes in this quote? What change do you want to make? Are you really willing to do what it takes to make that change?
Change can be hard.
We are often worried about the unknown—in fact afraid of it. We may not have had good experiences with change in the past so we fear that history will repeat, and this holds us back. We may think that the change we want isn’t possible because we don’t believe we are smart enough or worthy enough—those self-limiting beliefs hold us back. Perhaps there are people in our lives who hold us back by telling us that change is not good for us—do they really know what is good for us?
How can we overcome the obstacles, the barriers and the challenges that sit squarely in front of us as we try to change? How do we face the fear and do it anyway? How do we stop the worry? What do we say to those nay-saying voices—both internal and external—to quiet them so we can get calm about change and tap into our own Inner Wisdom for guidance?
Challenges to change
Before we can figure out how to overcome the challenges to change, we need to understand what they are. Writing them down seems to help. Making a list of them helps us to then ask some important questions: Is this particular challenge real? Can it really hold me back? Or, is it just my assumption that it can hold me back? Many times, when we put pen to paper and list what we think holds us back, we find that the resistance we had dissipates because we learn that it really isn’t a huge barrier after all. Test it for yourself.
If the challenge is real, list the steps you can take to overcome it. Can you reach out to someone who has done this before and learn from them? Can you take a class or read a book to help you learn how to face the challenge? There are usually a number of ways you can mitigate a problem and bust through an obstacle. And, once you do, the next one seems a bit less daunting.
Fear of change
This can be a big one for many people. It is so much easier to stay put and find a way to survive in a situation rather than change it. But, do you want to only survive? Or do you want to thrive in a better situation? If thriving is what you want, then change is necessary. We can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect a different outcome. Facing the fear of change can be done in a similar way as facing challenges to change.
Put pen to paper. What are you afraid of? Make a list. Are you afraid you can’t make the change? Is that true? What if you could not fail? What would you do then? Pretend you cannot fail. Pretend that neither skill nor time nor money is a factor in your change. What would you do then? Write about that. Be specific in your description of what you can do to face your fear and do it anyway. How does that feel to you? Now, what one small step can you take toward the thing you want to change? How soon are you willing to make that step? Taking small steps, rather than huge leaps, make course correction easier, in case you find you are stepping in the wrong direction.
Nay-sayers to change
Those pesky inner voices—and sometimes the ones coming from our friends and family—can do a number on our confidence level when we are not comfortable with change to begin with. Asking your family and friends to support you in your effort to change is the first step to putting a damper on the external voices. Quieting your own can be a bit tougher.
Here is a tip: find a phrase that works for you and when your inner voices get loud and try to stop your forward progress, say that phrase. One of my own favorites is, “Not Now!” One of my clients uses, “I’m fine and I don’t want to listen to you right now! We’ll talk later.”
These voices play an important role in our ability to think through a problem. Think of it like playing Devil’s Advocate for you. But, when you have tapped into your own Inner Wisdom and you have decided that this is a path you want to take, trust your intuition and go for it. If your inner voices try to stop you, use your favorite phrase to quiet them for now. Test your wings with baby steps forward. The more successful those steps are for you, the more confident you will be to take the next small one—and the quieter your inner voices will become because they trust that you are on the right path.
Get calm and trust your Inner Wisdom to ease your journey through change.
Whether change is something you are seeking (your choice) or change seeks you (not your choice), my best advice is to breathe—deeply and fully. As you breathe, breathe into a calm, quiet state of mind. Think about the change in the most positive way. What opportunity might this change bring? Is there a silver lining in this cloud overhead? I am a firm believer that ‘things happen for a reason.’ If you believe that, too, then it is easier to think about change in a positive way. You will be more open to seeing—and seizing—the opportunities that your change brings. Trust your Inner Wisdom to guide you in the right direction.
“The struggle you are in today
is developing the strength
you need for tomorrow.”
~~~ Robert Tew
Make this your day ~~~ Explore … Dream … Discover!
Chief Inspiration Officer | SafeHarbor Coaching | For women facing life transitions
If you’d like to read more about the “art of transition,” request my free eBook: Transcending Transitions: 15 Ways to Ease Your Journey, by completing the form to the right.
If you found this post helpful or interesting, please share it with your friends!