Change is inevitable … it is a part of life. We often just cope with it but, did you know there is a better way? Take control by the way you think about change.
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~~Author Unknown
“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~~Glenda Cloud
“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~~Deepak Chopra
How does change affect you?
Do you struggle with it? Does it bring up stress, anxiety and fear? Many people struggle when big changes happen in their lives. Major change can turn our world upside down, create confusion in our thoughts and bring emotions to the surface where we feel raw. There are ways to improve the experience! What was the most recent change for you about? A major relocation to another city where you knew no one? A sudden layoff or forced retirement which turned you inside out? The finality of coming to the decision to divorce as you wonder how you’ll survive this? There are so many types of change that rock us to our core and we need to explore new ways of thinking about things, so we can get back on track and find a way to make this transition gracefully and feel good about our new direction.
Five tips that will help you through your next change
These are things I have tried in the past as transitions have reared their ugly head in my own life … and they worked for me. Give them a try.
- Acknowledge that a change is happening.
- Sticking your head in the sand won’t help. Dipping your toes in the river in Egypt – DeNial – will not work either. Take control of what’s happening so you don’t feel like the victim.
- It’s normal and natural to think, “Why me?” and “This isn’t fair.” So, take a little time to let the shock set in and then give it a good swift kick in the butt. Literally. Kick it to the curb. This is your life and your change and you’re going to take control now.
- Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Embrace the change.
- If you just got laid off and you’re worried about how you’re going to find another job in this economy, thinking that you’re never going to get as good a job as you had or that you don’t know where to start job hunting … take a deep breath, and turn your thoughts around. “I’m going to pretend this was my idea!” and “I’ve got great skills, talents and gifts and I’m going to take a bit of time to figure out where I’ll have the most fun putting them to good use” and “I’m going to get excited about the opportunity this brings to me and research my options and network with my peers, colleagues and mentors to get more ideas.” That should get you started on the right track.
- Relax and breathe.
- That’s when you are most creative. Make time to surround yourself with the people you love doing the things you love to do. Do you walk? Or jog? What relieves your stress. Do that.
- Seek out positive support from friends, colleagues and mentors to help you through this rough patch. Avoid those who are negative. You don’t need their kind of help right now.
- Strong networks of like-minded, positive people can work miracles when you need support. Find groups on line or in your community who are also job searching or looking for alternative options to their previous careers. Brainstorming and collaborating is fun and can often awaken incredible concepts and ideas that you can test out and pursue.
- Be grateful for the good that comes from change.
- This can be tough to do and early on in the change, it may seem impossible. Try. Perhaps you lost that job at the worst possible time but, it allowed you to spend more time with a friend or relative who was ill. Perhaps the divorce has got your internal compass all out of whack but, you can finally explore that new career path from which he was holding you back.
- Find the silver lining. There most often is one. Be grateful for it.
- Know that this is temporary.
- Change is always temporary, unless you wallow in it for too long and you make it your new best friend. That’s the great thing about change and transition … it comes and goes … it comes and goes again … and sometimes, again. That’s a part of life and, when we accept that, we are more flexible, we can shift more easily in the winds of change. We can find our new direction and follow it with passion and purpose.
Change isn’t so bad … it can catch us off guard, though. When that happens, pretend the change was your idea. Take control of how you think about the change. Relax and move forward. When you open yourself to the possibilities, the opportunities always present themselves. Sometimes at the most surprising time and in the most delightful way.
Make this your day ~~ Explore … Dream … Discover!
Chief Inspiration Officer | SafeHarbor Coaching | For women facing life transitions
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If you’d like to read more about the “art of transitions,” please stop by my website and request my free eBook: Transcending Transitions: 15 Ways to Ease Your Journey.