Bring something into your day today that brings you joy, whether it’s going on a walk with a friend or lighting a candle and enjoying a bubble bath. You deserve to feel joy, even during difficult times. Give yourself a big hug for taking care of you.
It’s one choice we all can make.
I was speaking with a client this week, who is in a career transition. She was repeating the same old story about what happened in her past jobs, and was trying to convey what she wanted for her future. But she got stuck in replay. As I mirrored her words back to her, lovingly, she was shocked to hear how she sounded. She clearly understood how standing in her “frustration” about what has happened in the past is sabotaging her capacity to create a different future.
I asked her how she could change her story so that it would support her going forward. This turned into a conversation about choice. You can choose to keep re-reading the old chapters of your life, as though there is no other way for things to happen going forward. You may feel stuck, unable to find a different path, and you may choose to stay there because it’s easier than the alternative.
Or, you can choose to look at your situation from a different perspective.
What if you were to take small upward steps and discover a way to climb out of the rabbit hole? What would that mean? It means you would have to exert some effort, make a commitment and create a vision of where you want to go. This will take persistence and determination to keep at it, so you can reach your goals. And, it takes a willingness to reach out for help to someone or a group of “someones” who will help to lift you out, light your way and guide you as you explore new opportunities and challenges. That’s the alternative. That’s the choice.
As my client started to get the hang of this, she struggled with how to look at her prior experiences in a new way. She said, “But, all those things happened to me. And they do “frustrate” me as I think about what to do next.” I asked her this question: “What if you chose to explore all the lessons you learned from these experiences, rather than replaying all the frustrating events? What might you learn that you can use to prepare you for your next career move? That was her homework assignment.
This conversation served as a reminder to me, too. I can choose to reach out for help when I need it too. So, this week I did. I’m already feeling some relief.
What do you choose to do for yourself? What are you willing to change?