Self-care is essential to heal from divorce or any major life change

My Divorce Is Not My Failure

Finally. It’s quiet. Bright orange leaves are blowing off the trees as I look out the large windows of my living room. There’s a chill in the air. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s November or because he just moved out.

No matter the reason, I needed to warm my space. After lighting the logs in the fireplace, I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my knees, resting my chin, pulling the afghan over me. I closed my eyes and let warm tears roll down my cheeks. I’m feeling relief—and sad at the same time. It’s like I can breathe freely for the first time in a long time—and I’m scared, too. I’m safe at last. And I’m alone.

As the two cats snuggle closely, they seem to sense that things have changed. The tension in the air is gone. The silence feels peaceful rather than strained with unsaid, hurtful words. There is emptiness, yet we’re relaxed in it—for now.

Once the tears subside, I start pondering what it’s going to be like this time around. What did I learn from my previous divorce that I can use this time to make my recovery easier?

The first thought that occurred was: Divorce is not my failure—it does not define me.

So, how could I start defining the new me? By taking care of myself, for a change.

I learned that self-care is not self-ish. In fact, it is essential that I am at my best so I can give my best to those I care about. No one can take better care of me than I can. It’s my new commitment to me.

Self-care Tips

This essay was first published in BetterAfter50.com. For the rest of the story and to read five of the tips and techniques I used to start taking care of me, follow this link to the original article. Divorce Is Not My Failure

 

Remember to take care of yourself first.  From my caring heart to yours …

Maria Signature

P.S. If you’d like to join a group of awesome women who support each other on this journey through divorce, please join us at Thrive after Divorce: Your Journey Begins on Facebook.

If this post sparked an inspiring thought, please leave a comment—and if you feel inclined to share it with friends, please do! Thank You!

About The Author

María Tomás-Keegan

María is a certified Life Transitions Coach and Mentor for Women, specializing in Divorce Recovery. She brings her multi-faceted 20+ year corporate experience as a coach, mentor, consultant and marketing manager to bear in her coaching practice. Her specialty is working with professional women who put on a mask every day pretending they're okay, while deep inside they're not. María's programs and coaching techniques help women get back in touch with their true self so they can live their lives by design, rather than by default. María is founder and "Chief Inspiration Officer" at SafeHarbor Coaching, LLC.

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